5th July 2015 – The day that I decided to take control!
I’d always been a bit of a gym addict, but wasted a lot of time listening to others try and tell me how THEY trained, how THEY ate, and how THEY changed their bodies, but, it never actually meant anything. We’ve all been there, pretended to do what THEY do, pretended to eat what THEY eat, and I constantly got frustrated when I didn’t get the results they were getting. And do you know why?! Because I didn’t work like they did. I didn’t train as hard as they did, and i didn’t deserve to be like them!
In July 2015 , THEY became I! I made a conscious decision after stalking and following a number of inspiring women on Instagram. This ignited a spark! I wanted to be where they were, I wanted to feel proud when I looked in the mirror, I wanted cloths that fitted perfectly, I wanted glowing skin and a beautiful complexion. Somewhere deep inside where I felt comfortable, felt myself and felt happy.
August 1st 2015, this was my start date. I had already booked the competition I wanted to take part in, just so that I didn’t back out. I told my friends and family and made them buy tickets too. This is the best thing I did. I hate letting people down, I played to my strengths, and knew that now, I HAD TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL. It wasn’t a choice anymore, it was a journey. And I knew I would get there… 12 weeks would be plenty of time… RIGHT?!
I downloaded a meal plan and a training plan online, I worked out my macros, easy I thought. I did my first shop, bought the food I needed, and came home, excited by the journey I had ahead. I sat at the kitchen table, and then it dawned on me…. I had no idea what the hell I was doing! I’d never done anything like this before, it was all new, I had no real way of tracking myself. It suddenly seemed a mammoth task, and one that petrified me. So, I decided to just breathe, take a moment and think about my options. There was just no way I could do this alone, let alone do it well.
Then came the day that changed my plan. I met 2 amazing people at a supplement store. I went to try and buy some supplements and on the off chance, chatted to the amazingly fit woman behind the counter. She asked what I was doing. My neck flared all of a sudden, I felt her eyeing me up and down, wondering how the hell she was going to help me! Then…. she called her partner, an amazing guy, who had biceps bigger than my thighs! He was huge! He told me he’d help me. I now had 9 weeks until show day! But, he sent me my diet through that night, I sent him some pics and that’s where it started. Grumpy, sad photos.
Knowing that I had support, someone who knew how I’d be feeling, who could tweak and change my diet depending on how I looked gave me such happiness. Whenever I felt low, and I did feel low, he picked me back up, helping me focus on the bigger picture again.
Over the next 8 weeks, I had weekly check ins. The first few were horrendous, and I dreaded every one. Until one day, i put on my bikini, looked at myself in the mirror and finally saw something I actually liked. My back was beginning to shred, as were my shoulders. The relentless training and cardio was suddenly paying off. I felt the happiest I’ve felt in so long.
Peak week suddenly was upon me. Id had catch ups with my nutritionist so knew exactly how it was going to go. My abs were amazing, my legs were nowhere near ready, but I was assured they’d come in…..